It's Getting Real.
- thesjhealing
- Aug 30, 2024
- 5 min read
Not gon' lie, last weekend was a challenge. And although it got a little cloudy…I didn’t lose my vision. As I moved through the week I found myself confused. Mentally and physically exhausted, slipping into short periods of stagnancy. Wanting to just lay….simply trying to hold on to any piece of solace I had achieved over the last few months. All the work that I had done. All the messages from God I received. I felt they were slowly slipping away, or being challenged to the point I didn't know which way was up.
I was even more alarmed because the week before I had received so many downloads, I really felt a shift was coming! It’s time to shine, I thought. My confidence was rising. And I felt damn good because I was doing “some work”. A journal entry here, meditation there, affirmations every other morning, spending some time on my mat, a praise dance in the rise, sound baths at night. This is it! As good as all of that felt, it isn’t it. I haven’t arrived, because God has much more. Only after being reminded did I remember that My mother would always say "when the enemy can't get to me, he comes for ya'll" (my sister, my father, my extended family even). Recently, I heard that same FACT, ringing loud as ever in my ear. "When the enemy can’t get to you, he works through people around you". The people that are the closest, the people that he knows you would lay it on the line for. But it didn't stop there. The question I was faced with is “WHO ARE YOU, that he keeps trying? Even when you forget who you are, the enemy NEVER DOES. Why? Because you are a threat to evil that walks this earth”.
I found myself stuck, yet again. Like, haven't I figured this shit out already! Damn! Obviously not. Obviously, there's more. There's always more. Although my vision was no longer cloudy, I still didn't have a resolve. I still had a heaviness in my stomach, a feeling of being exposed to the dangers that surround me. Not so much physically, but spiritually of course. What does this mean God?! What am I suppose to do? "I asked". I’m not sure how many of you know the story of King Jehoshaphat in the Bible. In fact, I went and read 2 Chronicles 20 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Chronicles%2020&version=NIV) as I was only familiar with one particular verse. And really it was the most important part, but I needed context. Long story short, King Jehoshaphat prayed to God for deliverance and protection from his enemies. A major war was coming and he had no idea what to do. King Jehoshaphat knew God to be a merciful and faithful God. He prayed and fasted with BOTH sorrow and faith; that God would deliver and protect his people. He was transparent, he surrendered his problems to God! Even as King, Jehoshaphat kept it a buck…He simply said “We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chron. 20:12
What Can I say I learned from King Jehoshaphat? Cast Your Dependence on God, Seek/Praise God-(fasting, prayer, meditation, sound-blog coming soon), Have Peace in God, Fully Commit to God, Expect an Answer from God. See, I won’t let division win. I can’t. My bloodline depends on it. At this point, my life depends on it. I’ve spent so long watching things happen, hiding in the shadows and waiting for the right moment. The moment is now. I am declaring that:
Grief will not change me.
Resentment will not change me.
Vengeance will not change me.
Unforgiveness will not change me.
Trauma will not change.
Depression will not change me.
Anxiety will not change me.
Anger will not change me.
Hurt will not change me.
Mistakes will not change me.
Shame will not change me.
And Lastly,
People’s thoughts, opinions and perceptions of me will not change me.
(And for the people that want to nit pick , yes these experiences change me in the sense of being better, taking accountability or working towards being my highest self, but not change me by having adverse effects on my psyche or Who I am, and Who I am Being called to be.)
And for that reason I BIND all spells (words-lies, actions, thoughts) that have been spoken against ME, MY bloodline and My Family; and
I COMMAND those spells be broken and destroyed.
I REVERSE those spells that they may be in turn used to exhalt ME, MY HUSBAND, MY bloodline and MY Family.
God I pray your DIVINE FAVOR, ABUNDANCE, OVERFLOW GRACE AND MERCY.
I AM WHO I SAY I AM! Believe that. I am real. This is real. And I may not always act in a manner that reflects my highest self, but it’s there. It exists within me. I KNOW THAT.
I am declaring that:
I am loved and worthy.
I am valued and helpful.
I am understood and my perspective is important.
I am still learning so it’s okay to make mistakes.
I am safe and surrounded by love and support.
I can be soft in my heart and firm in my boundaries.
I breathe in trust, I exhale doubt.
I do all things in love.
I invite abundance and a generous heart.
I practice gratitude for all that I have, and all that is yet to come.
I release the fears that do not serve me.
My feelings deserve names, deserve recognition, deserve to be felt.
My sensitivity is beautiful, and my feelings and emotions are valid.
Sometimes the work is resting.
When I forgive myself, I free myself.
When I release shame, I move into myself more beautifully.
When I root into the earth, the earth rises to support me.
When I speak my needs, I receive them abundantly.
When I talk to myself as I would a friend, I see all my best qualities and I allow myself to shine.
Words may shape me, but they do not make me. I am here already.
I was sent here to be light, to change lives, heal my bloodline, to fight with my power, gifts and the strength of my and ancestors. And baby let me tell you I got the BIGGEST behind me, beside me, covering me, and with me. Her prayers will continue to cover me, my children, my husband, my sister my father. My entire family. My mother transitioned with a prayer in her heart and praise on her lips. What God promised her, he promises me.
RESTORATION. HEALING. FREEDOM
Playlist That Continues to Get Me Through Enjoy
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